Game Journalists Are Incompetent Fuckwits: Archive

Game Journalists Are Incompetent Fuckwits

November 2010

287 posts

Anonymous asked: While I appreciate what you do is entertaining, I feel that you're misleading people into feeling the games press is much worse than it is. OF COURSE the top 5% of sites are going to churn out evidentially meaningless posts because that's what their readers want. If Kotaku post about Japanese culture, it's because they're writing for a certain group who enjoy posts about...

Anonymous asked: I may have to take a page out of your book and make a blog called "Bashcraft is an Incompetent Weeaboo". What do you think?

Anonymous asked: Not only was that comment about Arkham City lame, he's making a statement about a title that isn't even out yet! What is up with game "journalists" (that term is an insult to real journos) pretending to know what the product is before it's even gotten a demo? They're no different then the fanboy laying hate on a future product they haven't put their hands on...

October 2010

191 posts

At first CVG’s RSS feed was like… …but then it was like… CVG’s RSS feed is a cavalcade of disappointment.

“With the right developer, a truly open-world Dark Knight Rises video game would...”

– CVG: How can The Dark Knight Rises video game beat Arkham City? [October 31st, 2010] This statement works for anything. Let’s try chancing some choice words: With the right developer, a truly open-world Legally Blonde video game would not only set itself apart from Phoenix Wright: Ace...

This update is MANDATORY

Microsoft have described their Dashboard update tomorrow as “mandatory”, and a couple of gaming sites including TheSixthAxis and DualShockers have gone ahead and used that word in their headline. There is just one thing I’d like to mention, though, to both the press and to Microsoft: Xbox Live updates are always mandatory. If you don’t update your console when the option...

kierand asked: In the title of the blog that appears on my tab, game journos are incompetent Jack-O-Lanterns. In the logo, they're Fuck-O-Lanterns. Which is it? Fuck or Jack?

I have been playing the Secret of Monkey Island...

The Secret of Monkey Island and LeChuck’s Revenge: Monkey Island 2 are, without a doubt, the greatest games ever made. I loves ‘em. The first one came out when I was four years old and I learnt to read so I could play it. This isn’t one of those situations where I’m looking back at something from my childhood with rose-tinted glasses, either - I replay both games at least...

Anonymous asked: When did your blog turn into 'complaining about shorthand terms that I don't like'?

Kotaku engages their readers in deep, intellectual... →

“Show us your gaming chair” demands this Kotaku post. The comments are, of course, littered with photos of chairs. Chairs. This is Kotaku.

Regarding the whole "Nextbox/Xbox 720" deal, do...

With the PlayStation I feel it’s less of a problem because Sony have quite clearly set up a numerical system with their consoles. Microsoft haven’t. Yes, 360 is quite evidently a number, but it doesn’t imply that there were 359 preceding models of Xbox. That’s not what the number is supposed to imply. Similarly, Calling the next Nintendo console “Wii 2” is...

[Submission] When did "Company X not releasing... →

Reader-submitted content follows: I mean, why should we bother? Will Escapist cover it when Microsoft refuses to start selling junk food as well?

Oh yes, in case you forgot...

It’s Halloween weekend. And it turns out… the blog is haunted! Alternatively, and this seems far more likely, I have changed the name and appearance of the blog. Or did I?

Anonymous asked: It seems to me that "the next xbox" or "microsoft's next console" would do a good job of describing the xbox 360's successor without the writer sounding like an complete idiot.

Anonymous asked: What should they use to refer to the next XBox? "XBox 3" is too similar to 360.

As Joystiq becomes Kotaku, so does IGN become... →

Two people wrote this article. Two. It took the combines efforts of two entirely separate writers to come up with a list of “sexy [insert game character here]” ideas, then create half-arsed PhotoShop representations of each idea. And then IGN published it. They went and slapped it up on their website! The fools! Oh, it’s a tad sexist as well. The suggestion that the appropriate...

[Submission] At least the single sentence of... →

Reader-submitted content follows: Yet again, Special K uses the flimsiest of excuses (the Undead Nightmare DLC for Red Dead Redemption) to post non-gaming pop culture content (western-horror movies). Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a site on the Gawker Network that could post stuff about horror, fantasy and science-fiction…

[Submission] Teen Raped and Murdered a Girl.... →

It doesn’t surprise me that this shit is a Bashcraft article. Anyway, reader-submitted content follows, with some minor edits for formatting: Shit like this makes me so mad at sites like Kotaku. Is the story news worthy? Absolutely. Does it belong on a video game website, absolutely fucking not. The fact that a 16 year old plays World of Warcraft is 100% meaningless and has nothing to do...

That's all from me until this evening

I’ve a busy day away from the computer, so you’ll not hear from me again until later this evening (unless I feel like tweeting during the day, obviously). As usual, if you spot something that’s a bit rubbish, shoot me an email or use the “Submit some Incompetence” button on the right, underneath the tee-shirt ads. Speaking of tee-shirts, there are two new designs up...

Anonymous asked: Which is more annoying in your opinion - "Xbox 720" or "Nextbox"?

Anonymous asked: I've noticed you say 'For glod's Sake' a lot mang. Me and Manny...don't like it u know what I'm saying. Is this a subtle dig at Our Lord The Creator Of Everything Good and Plentiful or is it a typo mang?

-Tony

How do you headline an article about Activision... →

This is the headline for MCV’s article about Activision head Bobby Kotick liking Battle.NET: Call of Duty bound for Battle.net? Yes, this is exactly what was outlined in your article. Well done, Ben Parfitt. Well. Done.

"Fuck it, we'll just double whatever number's at...

Every time a game journalist calls the next hypothetical Xbox console “Xbox 720” I die a little inside.

Anonymous asked: Regarding copying-pasting update notes: Don't you think it can be argued it's a better idea to copy and paste versus summarizing? I mean, isn't an incompetent fuckwit likely to, well, fuck up that summary?

Kotaku's new review system is absolute shit

But then you probably knew that already. The more reviews I read in this style, the more it feels like Kotaku writers are just slapping whatever information about the can they can cobble together into one post, adding a smattering of half-baked semi-valid opinions, and calling it a day. It feels like rushed coverage in order to justify receiving review copies of a game. Their old reviews, while...

Anonymous asked: Remember when you used to just ramble about how incompetent game journos were? Man, those days were the best.

My thoughts on Alien Breed 2: Assault

And now, another post about a game I didn’t like. Again, feel free to skip this one. I must express my unending disappointment with Team17’s revival of the Alien Breed series. There’s a lot of stuff that they’ve done well - I was never really fond of their attempts to shift the series into the FPS genre in the late 90s, so that both Impact and Assault have remained true to...

And the points go to HookedGamers, for... →

Congrats to them, then. Nice to know someone trusts me.

"Juno: The Game?" What is the back-story behind...

The exact details are lost in the mists of time, but the basics are as follows: In late-2007, Fox Searchlight hired someone to help monetize their titles and brands. I’m not familiar with (or, at least, I don’t recall) the specifics of their job, but the person gave an interview somewhere and said something to the effect of: “My job is to take Fox Searchlight titles such as, for...

Anonymous asked: Did anyone (in the gaming blog world) actually make note of the super meat boy announcement and link to you? Having Kotaku link to this blog would cleanse you of any and all sins.

I'm not usually interested in "This news is old"...

I had a very brief “Hey, this has already been reported elsewhere!” spurt in, I think, June or July that lasted a few days. If I saw the same thing reported twice by two different sites I pointed it out like a total Goomba despite previously having more sense than that. After two or three days of doing this I realised that “old news is old” isn’t really incompetence...

“You know, Crecente, it’s hard to take you as a legitimate video game...”

– A comment left by “Power, Max” on this Kotaku article about Sony’s new PlayStation loyalty program.

Is this Kotaku piece on the Kinect a PR piece? →

A tipster has sent me the following email: After Windows, After Xbox, Kinect Is Microsoft’s Next Planned World-Changer May I point your critical eye in the direction of this post. I’m reading it and can’t help but feel it’s very MS PR. Just the opening paragraph alone “It’s also already sitting in more than 40 million living rooms.” is firing off alarm bells. Crecente is also...

Anonymous asked: Speaking of reviews, and considering the recent release of New Vegas and the relative pounding it's been getting here and there...

Do you think it's fair to review a game poorly because of its bugs? To me it seems a bit like giving a movie a bad review because the DVD they sent you was scratched. Especially since bugs can be fixed eventually and I doubt anybody is going...

[Submission] Fact-checker doesn't check facts →

Reader-submitted content follows: I’m probably just being a dick with this, but here goes anyway: Ben Paddon of Game Journalists Are Incompetent Fuckwits recently speculated about Super Meat Boy’s availability on Steam by saying “I’m going to hazard a guess that the game will be coming out via Steam”. The thing is, he didn’t need to guess - A quick search on Steam...

Eurogamer post news that the PlayStation Phone is... →

[Text-only cache links for this one, I’m afraid - the full-fat version doesn’t seem to be loading.] At 12:49am PST this morning, Eurogamer posted a comprehensive gallery of every PlayStation Phone photograph known to exist and a news post touting the specs of the device (where they also refer to the source as “Endgadget”, snarf snarf). Now they’re reporting that...

Anonymous asked: Everywhere from Gamasutra to Joystiq are touting that god damned PSP Phone mock up like they held it in their hands. The fucking thing says A and B on its enter and back buttons for fuck’s sake. (Photo 8 of 10 in the Playstation Phone section) And don’t get me started on the specs. Even if it turns out to be true, the fact they all tripped over each other trying to post about it...

Two more websites copy + paste the Civ V patch...

Edit: Fixed typo in the post title. VG247 and Special K both decided that the patch notes were of such vital importance that they could only be read on their respective websites as opposed to, say, linking to the patch notes on the 2K Games forums or Steam’s copy of the notes, or waiting for users who actually own the game to see the notes when Steam automatically updates the game for...

Anonymous asked: Ben, I'm pulling for you, but you really need to stick to your guns.

Why would you proclaim that this isn't a news site and then proceed to post news just so you can beat other journalists to the punch when you criticize other sites for posting stuff that doesn't pertain to their supposed focus?

Why not tip off a site you respect or something like that?...