Game Journalists Are Incompetent Fuckwits: Archive

Game Journalists Are Incompetent Fuckwits

October 2011

29 posts

“[GMA sponsors Grainger Games] brought bikini clad women, midgets, a hideous...”

– Destructoid, Fraser Brown: Games Media Awards trolled by sponsor [October 29th, 2011] Well… yeah. Yeah, Fraser. They kind of do. I’ve been quiet about the GMAs, largely because the very idea of game journalists celebrating their “achievements”, such as they may be called,...

“Developer Anuman Interactive revealed a handful of screens from XIII: Lost...”

– Joystiq, Griffin McElroy: XIII: Lost Identity is an ‘interactive story,’ not a shooter [October 26th, 2011] Except the XIII comics preceded the 2003 videogame by about 19 years, give or take. Not that it only took me six seconds to research that, or ‘owt.

“Batman: Arkham City Week One Sales Top 4.6 Million Units Worldwide” “Batman:...”

– In an official Warner Bros. press release today. Shipped/Sold, same thing. North America/World, same thing. You are looking at the title of the press release, and the first line of it. No. Really. (via ronworkman) Which would go some way towards explaining why the gaming press has decided today...

NOT SHIT: Valve/Steam head Gabe Newell tells us... →

Honest to Glod, people, this isn’t rocket science. If you lower the price barrier, more people can buy your product and the more money you can make. This should not be a difficult concept for the industry to grasp.

Wardrox's Collection of Thoughts: Reviews are... →

wardrox: “[IGN] do not alter game scores even if there is a patch that fixes issues.” Which is from the IGN Ratings and Review Guide. “IGN will post either a review update or an entirely different console review once the Day 1 patch goes live for Xbox 360 and PS3” Which is from the IGN BF3…

We've now added $10 and $25 pledge rewards to the... →

I’m glad Kotaku have taken to reviewing snacks. I’ve always wanted to know what a $1 box of Milk Duds is like.

“There is an article on Kothulu about how miserly Electronic Arts is with review...”

– QUOTED FOR TRUTH(-ish) - Penny Arcade, Jerry Holkins: Twofer [October 19th, 2011] I mostly agree with what Jerry has written here, but I disagree on one point. I think you know what it is. And yet I shall keep typing anyway! What am I like, eh readers? A lot of fuss has been made of EA’s...

“I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong. This is not one of those...”

– Me, yesterday, during a lengthy Twitter discussion with Jason Schreier. Said because I am occasionally a bull-headed idiot. Whoops! Jason and I butted heads yesterday over the whole “pre-alpha” thing. He asserted that there was no way I could possibly know which build of Skyrim the...

Oy Vey, (or, How to Give Yourself a Headache)

There appears to have been rather a bit of controversy on the Twitters about yesterday’s post regarding a Bethesda PR rep referring to the press build of Skyrim as “pre-alpha code”. I’m going to do my best to clear that up. I’m not arguing whether or not Crecente or any of the other journos who got a hands-on with the game were playing unfinished code. Of course he...

“Thus goes the cycle of gaming press. 1) Announcement of announcement...”

– The incredibly accurate, and borderline hilariously sad state of “announcement-to-review” for games these days, as acknowledged by a NeoGAF member. (via semprafi) NeoGAF isn’t exactly my favourite place in the world, but occasionally someone will post something brilliant like this.

The first episode of PortsCenter is live. Help us... →

After weeks of planning and a long weekend of shooting and editing, the first episode of PortsCenter is now live on the tubes for you to watch. It’s only in SD thanks to Kickstarter’s video filesize limit. I’d very much love to do a full season of these things. I have plans for another 12 episodes, making a total of 13. If you liked this first episode and want to see more, help...

“It’s pre-alpha code, I’m reminded by the attending PR folks.”

– Brian Crecente’s “explanation” of why the version of The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim he played was so glitchy. My complaint here is two-fold, and is primarily about “the PR folks”. Don’t worry, Crecente isn’t exactly innocent, but I’ll come back to him...

Why I can't trust critics who don't finish...

thecynicscorner: I’ve got a lot of pet peeves when it comes to critics. Though that’s obvious to anyone who has been reading this little blog of mine, something has just been bugging me lately. A couple people on my twitter feed consistently recommend or praise certain critics who I’m not a big fan of. Let me tell you why. If I can’t trust a critic, it ruins the ability for me to read anything...

“Skyrim’s main quest can be cleared in around two hours”

– NOT SHIT: In a bizarre twist on the status quo, Destructoid show us exactly how that “Skyrim in two hours” story should be reported.

“Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion swallowed months of our lives and its sequel, Skyrim...”

– CVG, Mike Jackson: Skyrim can be finished in two hours [October 13th, 2011] Depends on what you mean by “finished”, though, surely. I mean it’s been five years and I’m still finding stuff to do in Oblivion. If you read the rest of the article, Mike Jackson makes the story a...

“Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games will hit Nov. 18 in Europe...”

– Kotaku, Brian Ashcraft: First Look at the Blue Nintendo Wii [October 10th, 2011] Presumably there’s also no word on a European release either. Cheers to the reader who sent this my way.

“EGM reports that Replay Games has tapped Leisure Suit Larry creator Al Lowe to...”

– Kotaku, Michael McWhertor: Leisure Suit Larry Returns to the Land of the Lounge Lizards in 2012 [October 10th, 2011] For those of you either too young to know (or, like Michael McWhertor, too disinterested to do the proper research), here is a list of the first seven Leisure Suit Larry games: ...

“Team Fortress 2 running via web browser, world’s fate in question”

– The headline for this Joystiq news post seems pretty impressive… until you actually read the post: Thankfully, it’s merely a demonstration and isn’t actually playable – yet. And, of course, if you watch Brandon Jones’ admittedly quite impressive video (there’s a...

It’s a quiet week for the blog, as I have been preoccupied with pulling myself up by my bootstraps. Or something. In any case, I’m not spending as much time as I’d like behind the computer doing writey things. Apologies for the interruption in service. I invite you to email me anything you spot that you might consider bullshit, and I’ll hopefully get around to posting it...

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