Game Journalists Are Incompetent Fuckwits: Archive

Game Journalists Are Incompetent Fuckwits

January 2012

16 posts

Kotaku - Guys don't dance and they certainly... →

notasenator: I’m a big fan of dancing in many forms. I also really like Harmonix games, so info about the Dance Central line tends to catch my eye. This Kotaku article is titled “On Playing Dance Central 2 While Male”. Now, I expected a bit of ridiculous gender role stereotyping about how silly guys look playing the game, but here’s the first half of the article: Recently my friend, who for...

The best part about that “Kotaku Commenters Do Not Suck” article? They emailed it to their newsletter subscribers. Wow. Talk about insecure.

Kotaku deeply upset that anyone would call therir... →

It is absolutely hilarious watching them post shit like this. It’s like watching a Republican Presidential candidate trying to maintain their integrity, or listening to Nickelback talk about how great their new album is. Is Special K falling apart without Crecente? Has the madness finally taken them all? It sure as fuck seems that way.

Kotaku launches new version of their site that... →

It’s been a long time coming, but Kotaku have made a version of their site that features gaming news exclusively - Kotaku Core. Finally, a version of the site that doesn’t bombard you with irrelevant bullshit about Japan, or medical science, or whatever! Still, our good friend Stephen Totilo appears to have absolutely no idea why people have been asking for this very thing. In the...

This GJAIF post from the tail end of 2010 is worth... →

Cheers to reader John Magnum for leaving a comment on the post and reminding me it existed.

“MCV says they have informants from both Sony and Microsoft stating that both...”

– QUOTED FOR TRUTH - WouldYouKindly.com, Drew Bergmark: Rumors: Don’t Believe the Hype [January 10th, 2012] This man knows what he’s talking about.

“Playing Resident Evil: Revelations With a Circle Pad Pro Results in a True...”

– 1UP there, telling readers that it’s the second analog stick that makes a “true” Resident Evil game. What does this mean? Well, it means that the first three Resident Evil games are no longer Resident Evil games. I know this to be an incontrovertible fact because I read it in Heat...

“Sonic wants to ‘give it’ to Flo the Insurance Girl Not really...”

– Destructoid, Tony Ponce: Sonic wants to ‘give it’ to Flo the Insurance Girl [January 7th 2012] Stay classy, Destructoid.

“Both the Xbox 360 successor AND a follow up to the PS3 will be shown at...”

– MCV, Michael French: Next Xbox AND PS4 set for biggest ever E3 [January 6th, 2012] Citation needed. Honestly, MCV, reporting a rumour as if it were absolute fact? Either you have a very reliable source you’re not willing to share, or you’re a collective of dunderninnies. I know which...

“I left a place I loved, a place filled with writers and editors I deeply...”

– Subcathoin: The Next Big Thing (Brian Crecente’s Tumblr) I rarely reblog stuff from game journalists’ personal Tumblr accounts, and I try not to highlight their personal stuff. That’s not the sort of game I like to play. However, I’m highlighting this. Why? Because I am...

Kotaku writer utterly incapable of reading a press... →

This is despite the very same writer maeking poast a couple of weeks ago about the very same games coming out for the Wii, which would have been slightly less embarrassing had Evan not linked to that post in this newer one.

Happy New Year, You Bastards

2012 should be a little more interesting. At the least it should be better than the movie*. It is my fond hope that game journalists will get their fucking shit together this year. I strongly suspect they won’t. Heigh ho. But anyway. Happy that thing I said. (* The movie in question is Conquest of the Planet of the Apes.)