In Kirk Cameron’s Kirk Hamilton’s coverage of Batman: Arkham City he opted to go with a headline, a giant image and an opening paragraph all declaring something incredibly spoilery. I won’t repost the spoiler here for fear of ruining everybody else’s day, but suffice to day say we’re talking “Cliffhanger of ‘Aliens of London’ being immediately ruined by the ‘Next Time…’ trail for ‘World War Three’” levels of spoilerdom.

(If you’re not a Doctor Who fan, just imagine someone writing a preview of Serenity in 2005 that opens with the line, “Oh, wow! Wash dies near the end! Bloody Hell! Wow. Anyway, let’s talk about the cameras they used…”. If you’re not a Firefly/Serenity fan, Glod help you.)

Kirk then throws out some other, minor spoilers, then talks about what actually playing the game is like.He even starts one paragraph with, “I should talk for a second about Detective Mode…” - yes, Kirk, maybe you should. In fact, maybe you should have opened with something like that instead of shitting on people’s experience.

I mean, fuck. Some people actually care about the plot to the games they play, Kirk. Alright, yes, games may well be universally terribly-written, with stilted dialog and characters so wafer-thin that Mr Creosote could eat them without exploding immediately afterwards, but Gloddamn it, they matter.

Edit: Y’know that thing I made fun of 1UP’s Chris Pereira for doing earlier in the week? Well I did it in this article. Whoops! Anyway, I’ve corrected the mistake. Transparency!