Game Journalists Are Incompetent Fuckwits

"So now what? Crytek is left to absorb flak for something they never said thanks to a case of..."

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 22:52:16 -0700

“So now what? Crytek is left to absorb flak for something they never said thanks to a case of quotemining? Is that how the game journalism industry works?”

- QUOTED FOR TRUTH: Jeroen Amin, Piki Geek: Editorial: On Crytek, Opinions, and Official Statements [April 30th, 2012]

More to the point, is this how we want it to work? Is this what we’re content with? Because it seems very much that we are, and that’s perhaps even more depressing.

Read this article. It’s heartbreaking to anybody who actually gives a shit about games as opposed to, y’know, pageviews.

Jesus Fucking Christ, why didn't anybody tell me about Good Games Writing?

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 01:01:04 -0700

Jesus Fucking Christ, why didn't anybody tell me about Good Games Writing?:

If the general negativity, cynicism and third-thing of the two years’ worth of material on this blog have left you in a bit of a tissy about the state of videogame journalism, you might want to consider following Good Games Writing to be the antidote.

They’re highlighting the crème de la crème of vidjamagame jarnlzms, and they’re doing a bloody good job of it too. Though I don’t necessarily agree with every post they’ve made over the last three months (which begs the question - why didn’t any of you fuckers tell me about this three fucking months ago?).

Anyway, this blog is still done with. I just wanted to spread the word about a ray of sunshine. You may continue weeping openly, as I’m sure you have been doing for the last three months solid.

Thank you.

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:20:00 -0800

Thank you.

Kotaku - Guys don't dance and they certainly aren't gay

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:05:14 -0800

Kotaku - Guys don't dance and they certainly aren't gay:

notasenator:

I’m a big fan of dancing in many forms. I also really like Harmonix games, so info about the Dance Central line tends to catch my eye. This Kotaku article is titled “On Playing Dance Central 2 While Male”. Now, I expected a bit of ridiculous gender role stereotyping about how silly guys look playing the game, but here’s the first half of the article:

Recently my friend, who for this article we’ll call “Dan,” was over at my apartment for beers and video games. We’d gone through most of the big fall releases—I showed him some craziness from Saints Row: The Third, got across the gist of Catherine, and played some (shockingly fun) split-screen Modern Warfare 3 spec-ops. The Kinect had gotten a go as well, and we’d laughed our way through several levels of Gunstringer and gotten our asses kicked by the surprisingly difficult Child of Eden.

“You know, I’ve got Dance Central 2 here, let’s play that!” I said, pointing to the shiny, colorful box of Harmonix’s Kinect-only dancing game.

“Sure,” Dan said, though in retrospect he was doubtless entirely unsure what he was getting himself into. And so we played Dance Central 2, two dorky bros in the mid-afternoon, standing in front of the TV and swinging our hips to “Toxic” and “Bad Romance.” It was funny, it was dumb; it was uniquely uncomfortable.

After we played for a little while, we took a break to have a beer and Dan remarked to me, “Man, that game is kind of uncomfortable for straight guys!” (I’m paraphrasing—he said it much more thoughtfully than that.)

I agreed, because I knew what he meant—I mean, one plays Dance Central by dancing. It requires an entirely different sort of physical interaction than most other video games. It was as though Dan and I had been sitting around pondering what to do and one of us had said, “You know what? Let’s go dancing together, just you and me!” Suffice to say, that is not something either of us would likely ever suggest. We’re fairly boring.

This was not about being male. This was about being gay. The game made them uncomfortable because as straight men, they shouldn’t be dancing, especially not dancing in the presence of other men.

He goes on to lift quotes from a Gamasutra article (and a very good one, talking about the unique connection the game brings to your sense of identity and self-expression), but never ties it in with the issues of his sexuality that made him uncomfortable in the first place. If he wasn’t shooting something from a car window or doing something else undoubtedly male, he got unsettled because then it was kind of gay. The article is just littered with terminology that supports his straight identity - the games he lists at the beginning (Saint’s Row, MW3, the extremely hetero Catherine), the break after playing Dance Central to have some beers…

Later, he says that he feels uncomfortable about it because he’s “straight-laced” and isn’t prone to expressing himself through dance. And that’s a cool thing that the Gamasutra article hits on. But almost everything in his article that’s not just reviewing his source is instead giving off the impression that dancing is gay.

Read the Gamasutra article, and I think you will see that Kirk Hamilton either missed the point or expressed it really poorly.

I don’t hate Kirk Hamilton - in fact, I don’t hate anyone, despite what you may think - but if he were to fall down the stairs breaking his arms and legs in the process I’d have a tough time feeling sorry for him.

NAS’ response is right on the nose. I wish I’d written it. Nicely done.

The best part about that “Kotaku Commenters Do Not Suck” article? They emailed it to...

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 17:46:13 -0800

The best part about that “Kotaku Commenters Do Not Suck” article? They emailed it to their newsletter subscribers. Wow. Talk about insecure.

Kotaku deeply upset that anyone would call therir commenters anything other than intelligent, incisive, SEXY individuals.

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 17:40:44 -0800

Kotaku deeply upset that anyone would call therir commenters anything other than intelligent, incisive, SEXY individuals.:

It is absolutely hilarious watching them post shit like this. It’s like watching a Republican Presidential candidate trying to maintain their integrity, or listening to Nickelback talk about how great their new album is.

Is Special K falling apart without Crecente? Has the madness finally taken them all? It sure as fuck seems that way.

Kotaku launches new version of their site that focuses solely on actual gaming news, doesn't really seem to understand why they've done it.

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 13:51:35 -0800

Kotaku launches new version of their site that focuses solely on actual gaming news, doesn't really seem to understand why they've done it.:

It’s been a long time coming, but Kotaku have made a version of their site that features gaming news exclusively - Kotaku Core. Finally, a version of the site that doesn’t bombard you with irrelevant bullshit about Japan, or medical science, or whatever!

Still, our good friend Stephen Totilo appears to have absolutely no idea why people have been asking for this very thing. In the post announcing Kotaku Core, Totes writes:

Kotaku Core readers will only see stories about video games themselves. You won’t see stories about the culture surrounding video games. You’ll see more stories about products, fewer stories about people; more stories about what a game company wants to sell you next, fewer feature stories, fewer stories about crime, politics, life and death.

Right, yeah, no. Look, people weren’t complaining about the posts that looked at game culture. Those are fine. I don’t have a problem with those. It’s posts like this one about a man who died kind-of sort-of near an arcade in Japan, or this one about a man trying to hold up a Toys R Us with two plastic lightsabers, or this one about Alec Baldwin using Twitter. These posts have nothing to do with gamer culture. You’d have to have suffered serious cranial trauma to think that posts like these somehow relate to videogames.

(The first person who suggests the lightsaber thing should get a pass because there have been Star Wars games gets a free umbrellenema, which is exactly what it sounds like.)

Congratulations on finally doing the right thing, Kotaku, but a sincere, wholehearted Fuck You for entirely missing the point of why people have been asking for it.

This GJAIF post from the tail end of 2010 is worth revisiting.

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 01:19:50 -0800

This GJAIF post from the tail end of 2010 is worth revisiting.:

Cheers to reader John Magnum for leaving a comment on the post and reminding me it existed.

semprafi: Kotaku: “Dead Rising Creator Keiji Inafune Hurt...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 11:18:45 -0800

semprafi:

Kotaku: “Dead Rising Creator Keiji Inafune Hurt Himself. He’ll Be Okay!”, January 10th, 2011

Take everything I said just yesterday about Bashcraft’s ongoing penchant for incredible non-news posts, and reapply it here. Again.

Also, yes, in case you were wondering, this whole “blip” and “quick bite” thing that became prevalent last year is still in the upper echelons of lazy games journalism. Don’t use what amounts to a glorified Tweet as a news article.

No, right, ‘cos… ‘cos this is obviously a promo for, like, Super Muscle Pull Panic!, or something. PS3 exclusive, I reckon. Sounds like it’ll be fun.

Christ.

"MCV says they have informants from both Sony and Microsoft stating that both companies are going to..."

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:05:54 -0800

“

MCV says they have informants from both Sony and Microsoft stating that both companies are going to reveal their next consoles during E3 2012.

Just stop for a second; think before you write. Even if you do have exclusive information on consoles that are due to be announced, companies can pull back their announcements at any time if they see it isn’t feasible for the corporation, making you–as a source–look illegitimate for now-untrue rumors.

”

- QUOTED FOR TRUTH - WouldYouKindly.com, Drew Bergmark: Rumors: Don’t Believe the Hype [January 10th, 2012]

This man knows what he’s talking about.

"Playing Resident Evil: Revelations With a Circle Pad Pro Results in a True Portable Resident Evil"

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 15:48:20 -0800

“Playing Resident Evil: Revelations With a Circle Pad Pro Results in a True Portable Resident Evil”

- 1UP there, telling readers that it’s the second analog stick that makes a “true” Resident Evil game.

What does this mean? Well, it means that the first three Resident Evil games are no longer Resident Evil games. I know this to be an incontrovertible fact because I read it ~~in Heat Magazine~~ on 1UP.com, so update your head-canons accordingly.

semprafi: Kotaku: “32-Year-Old Homeless Man Found Dead Outside...

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 11:51:40 -0800

semprafi:

Kotaku: “32-Year-Old Homeless Man Found Dead Outside Japanese Arcade”, January 4th, 2012

It is terrible that a person died, and it’s certainly even more unfortunate that they were homeless, but the sheer coincidence that their passing occurred within a mile of a Japanese videogame arcade does NOT equal an automatic, relevant post for a gaming ~~blog~~ tabloid.

Not only does this article have not a goddamned thing to do with gaming, the games industry or “gamer culture” (is that really even a thing anymore?), but as a commenter pointed out on this unrelated GameJournos post the other day, the one Kotaku visitor who managed the courage to speak out against this story was subsequently and swiftly met with vitriol and backlash from the readership hivemind who, no doubt, are the very reason this kind of shit is still accepted as appropriate coverage.

Were you under the delusion that Kotaku would, in any way, become less shit than it was under the watchful eye of new Editor-in-Chief, Stephen Totilo? Boy, don’t you feel embarrassed.

(OK, to be fair, it was probably misguided the think any change whatsoever would come in the first couple of weeks — it’ll likely be many months before we see any noticeable differences, if they’re coming — but still. Way to kick off the new year, Bashcraft.)

"Sonic wants to ‘give it’ to Flo the Insurance Girl Not really — I personally..."

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 13:26:52 -0800

“

Sonic wants to ‘give it’ to Flo the Insurance Girl

Not really — I personally wouldn’t pass up the opportunity.

”

- Destructoid, Tony Ponce: Sonic wants to ‘give it’ to Flo the Insurance Girl [January 7th 2012]

Stay classy, Destructoid.

"Both the Xbox 360 successor AND a follow up to the PS3 will be shown at E3 2012."

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:25:50 -0800

“Both the Xbox 360 successor AND a follow up to the PS3 will be shown at E3 2012.”

- MCV, Michael French: Next Xbox AND PS4 set for biggest ever E3 [January 6th, 2012]

Citation needed.

Honestly, MCV, reporting a rumour as if it were absolute fact? Either you have a very reliable source you’re not willing to share, or you’re a collective of dunderninnies. I know which way I’m leaning.

"I left a place I loved, a place filled with writers and editors I deeply respect, to do this. But I..."

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 14:05:00 -0800

“I left a place I loved, a place filled with writers and editors I deeply respect, to do this. But I didn’t leave Kotaku to create Kotaku. Why bother? That’s already done. I left to try something new, something exciting and hopefully something that can deliver an experience everyone will love diving into as much as we love creating it.”

- Subcathoin: The Next Big Thing (Brian Crecente’s Tumblr)

I rarely reblog stuff from game journalists’ personal Tumblr accounts, and I try not to highlight their personal stuff. That’s not the sort of game I like to play. However, I’m highlighting this. Why? Because I am cautiously optimistic about this whole thing.

No, really. I am. I promise. This isn’t a trick, this isn’t an attempt at sarcasm or a bad joke. I genuinely think this could be something good for game journalism.

Others have pointed out that the idea of having so many repeat offenders pooling their efforts in one location potentially makes writing this blog so much easier. They may be right.

However! I choose instead to be positive and optimistic about this. I elect to adopt an air of cautious optimism about the whole thing, that perhaps Vox Games (or whatever it winds up being called) will be a step in the right direction for game journalism.

Or, perhaps it’ll be shit. It could so easily be shit. But I’m going to be positive about this one.

Kotaku writer utterly incapable of reading a press release properly

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:59:00 -0800

Kotaku writer utterly incapable of reading a press release properly:

This is despite the very same writer maeking poast a couple of weeks ago about the very same games coming out for the Wii, which would have been slightly less embarrassing had Evan not linked to that post in this newer one.

semprafi: VG247: “Rumour – Disney Epic Mickey 2 going co-op,...

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:46:32 -0800

semprafi:

VG247: “Rumour – Disney Epic Mickey 2 going co-op, multi-platform”, January 3rd, 2012

According to the preserved text, presented in full below, the sequel to the 2010 Wii exclusive is due in northern autumn, will release on PlayStation 3, Wii and Xbox 360, and feature split screen co-op play. The second player will take control of classic Disney character Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

VG247: “Marketing survey suggests Disney’s assessing interest in Epic Mickey 2”, August 27th, 2011

Possible gameplay details listed included optional split-screen co-op with Mickey and Oswald The Lucky Rabbit, and the formats listed for the game were Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360.

CVG: “Epic Mickey 2 going multi-platform with co-op?”, January 3rd, 2012

According to the newsletter Epic Mickey 2 will be “available for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and Wii” and a second player can get in on the action, with the painting ability given to one player and the thinning ability to the other.

CVG: “Disney survey reveals Epic Mickey 2 - report”, August 28th, 2011

According to the report, the game will have a two-player split-screen option with Mickey and his brother Oswald The Lucky Rabbit playable, while Mickey’s paint and thinner powers make a return.

It’s being lined up for release on Wii, Xbox 360 and PS3, claims the source, making no mention of 3DS, Vita or Wii U.

There are a handful of different ways CVG and VG247 could have approached wording this story (just Google it, and see what other sites did last week), and of course they chose the one which makes them continue to look uninformed/oblivious/lazy/incompetent at their jobs.

In the case of VG247 — not linking to, including tags, or acknowledging that they covered the topic half a year ago, and that it featured nearly identical information.

For CVG — wording their headline as an unnecessary question, when the answer is not only present in the source material and thus in the very article itself, but also, again, in their prior coverage from last August.

Sigh. Happy 2012. Off to a great start.

Oh, lord.

Happy New Year, You Bastards

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 00:41:28 -0800

2012 should be a little more interesting. At the least it should be better than the movie*. It is my fond hope that game journalists will get their fucking shit together this year. I strongly suspect they won’t. Heigh ho.

But anyway. Happy that thing I said.

(* The movie in question is Conquest of the Planet of the Apes.)

"The continuing saga of the Avenger Controller and Paul Christoforo continues…"

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 12:18:00 -0800

“The continuing saga of the Avenger Controller and Paul Christoforo continues…”

- Oh, Lord.

Man spends too long trying to look up a virtual woman's imaginary skirt, Bashcraft spends too long writing about it.

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:43:27 -0800

Man spends too long trying to look up a virtual woman's imaginary skirt, Bashcraft spends too long writing about it.:

I am genuinely worried about Bashcraft’s obsession with Japanese erotica.