The best part about that “Kotaku Commenters Do Not Suck” article? They emailed it to their newsletter subscribers. Wow. Talk about insecure.
It is absolutely hilarious watching them post shit like this. It’s like watching a Republican Presidential candidate trying to maintain their integrity, or listening to Nickelback talk about how great their new album is.
Is Special K falling apart without Crecente? Has the madness finally taken them all? It sure as fuck seems that way.
I wanted to share a comment posted on the Gizmodo article by “feral.nsfw”, because it’s inevitably going to get deleted some time tonight and it’s simply too brilliant to let get eaten by web ghosts:
When I saw an IM from a girl named Alyssa that said, “You should go out with me :)” I was relieved. She seemed normal. I gave her my name. “Google away,” I said. Then dinner was ready, and I signed off without remembering to do the same.
We met for a drink later that week. Alyssa was slender and blonde, dressed in a white sundress. We started talking about normal stuff—family, work, college. I told her my brother worked in tech. And then she casually mentioned that she wrote for a nerd blog.
“Actually,” she paused. “I’m write for Gizmodo.”
I laughed. Oh that’s a funny joke! I thought. This girl is funny! But the earnest look on her face told me she wasn’t kidding.
I gulped my beer and thought about Gizmodo, that link-whoring Gawker site that managed to spill all their users’ info a few years ago. A long-forgotten casualty of the web, like Lycos or something. But before I could dig deeper, we had to go. Alyssa had bought us tickets for a one-man show based on Jason Chen’s run-in with Apple. It was not a particularly romantic evening.
The next day I Googled my date and a wealth of information flowed into my browser. She’s Alyssa motherfucking Bereznak, the woman who despite writing for one of the nerdiest blogs on the web, pretends to be superior to other adults just because they play a card game.
Just like you’re obligated to mention you’re divorced or have a kid in your online profile, shouldn’t someone also be required to disclose any indisputably hypocritical attitudes? But maybe it was a long time ago? We met for round two later that week.
At dinner I got straight down to it. Did she still write? “Yes.” Strike one. How often? “I’m writing an article about Dungeons and Dragons this week.” Strike two. What was it about? “How they’re all unwashed neckbeards who molest children.” Strike three. I smiled and nodded and listened. Eventually it was obvious that Alyssa didn’t know shit about the games she was covering. Here was a girl who acted like a successful hedge fund manager was a serial rapist over having a geeky hobby, despite writing for a blog that treats GPS-enabled dog collars like real news. This is what happens, I thought, when you leave things out of your online profile.
I later found out that Alyssa infiltrated her way into OKCupid dates with at least two other people I sort of know, including one of my co-workers. Mothers, warn your children! This could happen to you. You’ll think you’ve found a normal girl with a job, only to end up being judged on the color of your socks by a hack one step up from a tabloid writer.
Perhaps the most annoying thing about this entire fiasco is that Alyssa has probably made Gawker an entire shit-ton of money, and provided they don’t inexplicably fire her it’s safe to say that her career is more or less safe.
What we may get, if anything, is an apology which neatly dodges the issue and somehow manages to be entirely unapologetic, which will generate more controversy and bring in even more ad revenue for Gawker. What happens next is that… well, we stop caring, don’t we? That’s how it works on the internet. Give it a day or two and it’s suddenly ancient history. Nobody will care.
I would like it if once, just once, people gave Gawker some serious shit.
Comments Working Again
After Disqus were unable to solve the comment problem, I went into Tumblr and discovered the problem myself - Disqus shortnames are now cAsE sEnSiTiVe, whereas previously they weren’t. Stupid, but there we are.
Comments are now reenabled on the blog. Go nuts.
Comments Still Down
For some reason the Disqus comments still aren’t working. Oddly they still work over at the Off-Topic blog, but they won’t even display here.
Disqus haven’t given me a response yet. I’ll give ‘em another prod. For now people a small group of people have taken to posting comments on the old GJAIF Facebook group.
Kotaku issues “Stars” to commenters as a way of differentiating those who nod sagely and agree with everything that goes up on the site, and those who post snarky comments on non-gaming articles.
A user with a Star is usually held in higher regard as a trusted, respectable member of the community with something sensible to say, whereas unstarred users are second-class citizens who you wouldn’t want to be caught out in public with, which rather suggests Kotaku’s staffers haven’t read “The Sneetches” by Dr. Seuss.
In order to earn a star, you must be an upstanding reader who contributes to the Kotaku community in a positive way by making intelligent conversation and generally not being a tit, unlike their writers.
Alternatively, if you don’t have any intellect and don’t actually participate in the community, you can get a star simply by contributing to one of their many many many many many photo round-ups and Photoshop contests, and they’ll give you a shiny gold star whether they post your picture or not. Hooray!
One bestarred reader, SarahDot, took exception to this, and posted a complaint in one of those crowdsourced posts:
Many moons ago I had a comment in the Week in Comments. It was actually my third, but the first two came before the star system was implemented so they didn’t count… or something. Back in the day, I had to earn my right simply to comment by submitting stories. In the end I didn’t get my star for commenting for more than 5 years or my many insightful comments. I got my star for joking that someone was a communist, because they didn’t use a serial comma.
My point is not, “How DARE they get stars easier than me!” My point is that when these stars were put into place, the point was that the people that got them were entrusted with a sort of demi-moderator status to keep the conversation more civil and meaningful. If everyone has one, there is no point to them.
All things considered that’s not an unfair challenge to make, but Kotaku writer Owen Good, who looks like a failed attempt to combine the DNA of Joss Whedon and Stone Cold Steve Austin, responded by basically saying “what we say goes” and removed SarahDot’s Star. When SarahDot protested this action, Good issued a one-week ban for the hideous crime of making intelligent conversation and contributing to the Kotaku community in a positive way by trying to improve it.
The entire thing is further compounded by Kotaku insistence that they aren’t above a little bit of criticism, which is an outright lie when users find themselves banned and suspended for questioning the relevance of posted content and the hypocritical nature of some of Kotaku’s policies. Why continue contributing to Kotaku’s community if you’ll be cast out like a leper for raising questions about the way the site is run?
Furthermore, if we can’t trust Kotaku to adhere to their own commenting and Star-issuing policies, why the Hell should we trust the content they publish? I’ve always believed that if someone is capable of telling a lot of small lies then they’re quite capable of telling one or two big ones.
IGN’s own ratings guide classifies 5.0-5.5 as “Mediocre” yet a lot of reviews for games the reviewer says are mediocre get 7 scores which by the guide means “Good”
I don’t know if you would call that deception or contradiction.
— Wayne R, in this comment on the blog.
Comments left on Joystick Division’s aforementioned Super Meat Boy Mr. Minecraft post. A reader (that’s Bob) corrects James about Mr. Minecraft being a PC exclusive and will not be coming to the 360 version of the game via DLC. James’ response is, of course, indicative of a complete and utter failure to do even the most basic research to uncover that Mr. Minecraft is, in fact, in the PC version of Super Meat Boy from launch.
It’s not DLC, it’s never going to be DLC, and James has further cemented his incompetent fuckwittery with this comment. So huzzah for him.
